...two moms and five kids.

A couple of weeks ago I came home from a whirlwind trip to Manitoba and Ontario. We were going to a cousins wedding in Ontario's cottage country and so I decided that I would pack up the girls and spend a few days in Manitoba on the way there. I was looking for a chance to nourish my spirit a little. And the best way to do that is to run to the arms of someone I know will feed my soul.

The days leading up to my trip were filled with stress as I rushed around trying to get everything done that I needed to before I would be gone from, home, work and school for over a week. I finished packing just an hour before leaving for the airport and only let my shoulders come down from beside my ears as I sat down in the boarding lounge. Whatever I had not remembered or got done before I left was out of my hands now... My girls were dreamy! Meg carried her own bag, helped me with mine and just chilled with some markers and a journal on the flight. Lola nursed on takeoff and landing, hardly fussing at all. We were greeted at the airport in Winnipeg by one of the most amazing women I know. She had Lola in the sling and Meg by the hand within moments and I felt completely at home. It was late and when we finally got to her house we all just tumbled into her big bed for what would begin 6 nights of co-sleeping bliss.

In the morning I awoke to a little face peaking through the crack in the door. This dear, sweet 5 year old had been on pins and needles for a couple of hours while she waited to see any movement from our room. What a glorious way to wake up! And within the hour I had been warmly welcomed with love and hugs from the whole family. My Manitoba family. I have never felt more at home in someone else's home than this entire family made me feel. Little did all 5 of our combined children know that by feeling so at ease it would mean that for the next five days they would all have two moms! It was like a practice run for me, a glance into my future. You see, the youngest of this family is five but she has a fourteen year old brother and a fifteen year old sister. A larger age gap than my two but a similar dynamic. It was fascinating to see their relationships with each other and to see their own unique gifts, that when combined built the framework for a family that embraces life (and each other) in such a special way. I drank it in as I sat in their family room nursing my babe and being waited on by all of them. I watched them bicker, show off, open up and show up... To be honest the thought of teenagers had me scared shitless until I spent these five days with two of the most amazing young adults I could imagine. We had planned to do soo much while I was there. We always do. I think we imagine that when we are together we become super human. But in the end the time we value most is the time we share cuddled into bed together talking about our lives, our kids, our work and our dreams. Or the time we spend preparing food with a glass of wine or gin and tonic. We are wildly feminine as we pour our love into creating a feast for ourselves and our families. We often eat late because we are overly ambitious and so in the moment that we loose all track of time. And some of my favourite moments of my time with my Manitoba family were on the last night when a fifteen year old warrior woman in the making joined us while we laughed, and talked and baked cookies. Don't get me wrong... I am still afraid of my own life with teenagers but for now I have softened towards the idea.

I know how much I loved having a co-parent for those five days. I felt invincible actually. Like Supermama! I was bolstered by someone who's mothering I aspire to. We often joke when we are together that we understand the allure of communal living. Maybe we do become superhuman when we combine our gifts. What I don't know is how our five kids felt about having two moms.

Honourable mention goes out to those two husbands/fathers that indulge us in this soul nourishing love fest we yearn for every so often.

...a friend.

I am blessed. I am surrounded by so many amazing women. My family is comprised of some of the most phenomenal women I know and is born of an amazing feminine legacy. I am very proud of this. I feel deeply attached to my ancestral lineage and know that these women that machteted their way through life ahead of me have allowed me to adorn that path with my own grace and beauty, love and compassion. They have made it easy for me. And as a result I have been able to culture some pretty incredible friendships. And even some pretty incredible acquaintances. The type of people that you know well enough to hug when you greet each other and would feel comfortable to cry with but don't fall into the category of people you call or get together with regularly. What a blessed life I have. I have friends that span the globe and that endure the distance and time between us. If this is a way to measure my wealth I am very rich indeed!

Now more than at any other time I feel compelled to soak in this sea of feminine energy. I want to lay my head back in the water and float on the waves of this soulful sea. I have been drifting this way for months now and it is clearly evident in my inability to focus, attend to the needs of others and generally see a task through to it's end. I am scatterbrained and it makes me smile a little to know that this is the energy that will serve me as my path unfolds towards my birth. The divine feminine. The flowing, oozing, soft, yet powerful qualities that I will need to traverse this portion of my journey are seeping into every part of my life. I was reminded to accept this energy with grace by one of my dearest friends. She knows me in a way so unique I can not put it into words. She is a person I never knew I was missing in my life until she was a part of it.... and now I have no idea how I ever felt complete without our relationship. We have not seen each other for almost a year now and I am aching to see her while I am in this place of fullness and standing, a bit anxiously on the edge of a whole new sense of being. Yesterday she booked a flight to be here for my Mother Blessing in a few weeks. I am overjoyed. This feels like the thing I need to complete the final steps of my preparation before I make my solo journey into the underworld. She will help me to don my medha, she is my handmaiden. Together we will gather my robes, breast plate, lapis necklace and gold bracelets. She will help me dress, comb my hair, apply my make up and wash my feet to honour the journey ahead. Then she will bid me farewell as a maiden-mother of one. Never to return....