Thursday, October 8, 2009

...the dynamics of being human.

Wrote most of this a few weeks ago (September 12 to be exact). I finally got a chance to get back on here and I like what I wrote so here it is. Finished hastily tonight, but finished and posted.

My mom got a tattoo this week. I went with her. I suppose I went to support her in some way even though I was not really supportive of the tattoo itself. I knew that this ritual was to be part of her healing, her honouring and her new life on her own. So I gathered up my 2 and a half month old and went to the tattoo studio with my mom. It was a bit nerve wracking to provide council for her on something that would be so permanent but in the end she did what she wanted and she is delighted with the results. The tattoo artist had a great rapport with us and we talked about a lot of stuff. I am fascinated by the medium of ink in skin and took the opportunity to study the process as he worked with such ease and confidence. He had a very light hand and was able to just kiss the skin with ink. Intricate lines were followed by an infusion of colour and then the addition of highlights and shadow it was really amazing to watch. At some point in our conversation the unique aspects of working in this medium were explored and he offered a perspective I had not considered. A canvas, piece of paper, lump of clay, slab of stone all remain fairly static upon the completion of the artmaking. But the skin is dynamic. By its very nature it will shift, grow, wrinkle, sag, sluff and regenerate. It is not the same from one day to the next.

A few days later I had the pleasure of a walk with a friend on a lovely fall afternoon and we talked about change in our families. Did I ever regret the decision to have another baby? Was I truly happy when we were a family of three? What was it like to have such a massive shift in our family? The truth is adding a new member to the family certainly created a landslide kind of change in our existence but by our vary nature we are human. And like the flesh that was the canvas for my mom's tattoo, we are dynamic. We change. Our relationships change. Our lives change. In five minutes I will not be the same person I am now. So although my answer is a resounding YES to the question of my happiness with my family of three, it was going to change anyway. New member or not I could not clutch that triad of perfection to my breast and will it to stay the same. It would not. Meg would grow and we would all age and stretch and shed and sluff and wrinkle and sag and regenerate...


  1. Sitting by my mom's hospital bed side Trish in London as we move through her third day after open heart surgery. It's been a long three months since her diagnosis. Quite a journey for the both of us. I too am thinking of change and pushing through the stuckness we find ourselves into at times.

    Her incision right in the middle of her chest is like a tatoo. Sign of an open heart. xxx Meli

  2. Meli, that is one of the most amazing parts of the flesh I forgot in my post. The ability to heal. You are loved Meli and I am holding you in my heart as you beat your drums for your mother's return. Love and peace.

  3. Thank you Trish! Actually a drum circle was held by 13 women friends in Cyprus as my mom was in surgery and up until she was awake. They stood drumming by the gate awaiting for her... I'm sure she heard them.


  4. Meli you brought tears to my eyes. I can see those women drumming... Amazing. Did I tell you that my mom got her tattoo over her heart? A red dragonfly emblazoned on her chest...

  5. Trish, I love reading your posts. You have such a beautiful way with words and can paint a picture with ease in my mind. As much as there are times I wish I could stay exactly where I am, other times I want to be so far away from the moment that is my current reality. Like all things living, we grow and change, sometimes willingly and sometimes with great reluctance wanting time to stand still. The challenge is to move with it.